When Change is Unwelcome

Unwelcome change is inevitable. It comes in the forms of betrayal, illness, loss, or bereavement, threatening to overwhelm us with negative feelings.

When change is unwelcome, we must become more flexible in our identity to embrace the lessons of loss—to see that when something is taken away, simultaneously something else is offered. New doors are opened when old ones close, but we can miss the new openings if we are focused only on loss.

Through lecture, exercises, meditation, and question-and-answer sessions, psychologist Polly Young-Eisendrath presents both a Western psychological and an Eastern Buddhist understanding of unwelcome changes in our life. Embracing these changes and learning from them requires a basic mindfulness in watching our feelings and becoming wise about how we act and what we say. When we see clearly that our feelings, even the most painful, arise and pass away, we have the freedom to discriminate what we want to do with them.

Upon completion of this workshop, participants will be able to

• define "unwelcome change" and recognize how it affects the deep context of our lives in relation to our identity and consciousness of ourselves
• use basic mindfulness practice to contrast "negative" emotions and "positive emotions" in terms of the body sensations, internal images and internal conversations they give rise to
• recognize the ways that contractive experiences (negative emotions and their accompanied narratives) take over our life context and consciousness at times of "loss" when we define ourselves (and others define us) in terms of what is "wrong" or "missing"
• acquire new skills and attitudes for changing our identity and life story at times of deep unwelcome change so that a flexible new self emerges within the demands of a new life context
• practice mindfulness skills and narrative (storytelling) methods that permit a re-balancing of identity within the changed context of a new identity
• apply a view of "impermanence" as a guiding framework working with change from moment to moment and in the midst of a radical new life context that is uninvited

This workshop is for anyone going through an unwelcome change, as well as for mental health professionals who want to incorporate this work into their practice.

Polly Young-Eisendrath, PhD, is a psychologist, Jungian analyst, and longtime Buddhist practitioner and meditation teacher in the tradition of Shinzen Young. Her many books include The Resilient Spirit and The Self-Esteem Trap. young-eisendrath.com